Decision to marry: Is love alone enough?
Marriage is an important life decision. When a boy and a girl are attracted to each other, they start dreaming of spending a life together. But is their liking alone enough for marriage? According to matchmaker Gaurav Chhabra, it is also necessary to understand the families, home environment and ideology of both before marriage. In a video shared on his Instagram page @kahanirishtoki, Gaurav said that before deciding on marriage, one should pay attention to the lifestyle and thoughts of the families. If the expectations of both the families are different, it would be better to discuss those issues openly.
1. Observe the family environment during the first meeting
When you visit someone's home for the first time for a wedding, don't just focus on conversation or hospitality. Also see how family members talk to each other and the atmosphere at home.
Some families welcome the guests grandly, while some welcome them simply. Both methods are normal. The real thing is how you feel in that family and whether your comfort and respect is taken care of.
2. Every family has its own characteristics
Every household has its own rules, traditions and customs. In some families everyone takes decisions together, while in others individual freedom is given more importance. Similarly, the way of talking, meeting guests and living daily life may also be different.
Therefore, instead of considering a family as good or bad in the first meeting, try to understand their thinking. It is more important to know whether both families can respect each other's point of view.
3. Discuss responsibilities after marriage
It is necessary to have clear discussions on some important issues before marriage. For example, if the girl wants to work after marriage, it is important to know what the boy and his family think about it.
Similarly, things like household responsibilities, financial decisions, clothing, living arrangements and spending time with family should also be discussed. If there is a large difference in these cases, it may be best to clarify expectations. This can reduce the chances of misunderstandings and disputes after marriage.
4. Don't make the final decision in one meeting
It is not easy to understand a person or family completely in a single meeting. Therefore, before taking the decision of marriage, both should be given ample opportunities to interact with each other and spend time with their families.
Eating together, sharing your likes and dislikes and discussing future plans can help you understand each other better. If something bothers you, ask openly about it before drawing conclusions.
5. Reconsider the relationship if there are differences of opinion
If during the conversation it becomes clear that the expectations of both the families are different from each other, then these differences should be seriously considered before taking the decision of marriage.
However, different lifestyle or traditions does not mean that the relationship cannot be successful. Many times even families having different mindsets create a good rapport through mutual respect and understanding. The real question is whether both parties are willing to respect each other's boundaries, choices, and decisions.
5 things to discuss before marriage
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What are the expectations of both regarding job and career after marriage?
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How will household responsibilities be shared?
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Where to live after marriage and what will be the role of family?
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How will economic decisions and future plans be decided?
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How much importance will be given to individual freedom, choice and mutual respect?