Parents should teach their children how to live. This is what I thought, at least until I became a mom. However, things began to change rapidly. And now I know it’s actually the other way around.
My daughter Pihu came into our lives about ten years ago. I was ready with the life lessons I wanted to share with him. However, as I began to gain some experience as a mom, I realized that there’s really very little that we adults can teach children and a lot that we can learn from them.
be selfish
A child cares about his own needs and wants. A child always puts himself first. As she grows up, she is somehow made to feel guilty if she puts herself first. I have re-learned the lost art of being selfish from my daughter.
My daughter always kept her dry fruits, laddus and snacks safe with her so that her father would not steal them and she had no regrets about it. When Pihu does not want to wear clothes of a particular colour, she says – I don’t like it. This is a very liberating habit. No quarrel. I’ve learned that being selfish helps you be clear in your expectations and also keeps you mostly happy.
every time is game time
The more success we achieve as adults, the less fun we experience. You may have noticed—the higher an executive’s position, the less he is allowed to smile. This is true for most people, if not all. Fortunately, a child can have fun all the time. The child may play without any reason or occasion. Every day, every hour, every minute. If we adults could learn this (or forget our seriousness), the world would be a lovelier place. I have re-learned this art from my daughter.
make friends with strangers
Ever since my daughter was little, she used to smile or make eye contact with every stranger in the elevator, park, shopping mall, vegetable market. Most people would answer. Then I would reluctantly strike up a small conversation and consummate the meeting.
Meeting strangers and making friends is overwhelming for me, but natural for my daughter. They are born networkers. This skill is unique not only in personal life but also professionally. All it takes is eye contact and a genuine smile.
art of minimalism
As long as children are not corrupted by competition, they are the best example of how one can be happy with a minimalist life. On most occasions, an empty Amazon delivery box has brought my daughter more joy than the toy inside that box. She would play with that empty box for hours. What is trash to adults is often treasure to children. There have been many such occasions when we were about to throw something, then Pihu would come and say –
Please don’t throw it away, it’s the bag/bedding/clothes for my doll.
to express love
The best time of the day for me is when I come home from school and my daughter comes running to me from her room to tell me what the highlight of her day was. Then, after dinner, I take Pihu to sleep. I tell her the story and she expresses her love with her arms. Simple but for us, big people, so difficult. Expressing love to your loved ones. Through these small gestures, our children tell us how much they love us. That their world revolves around us. I really wish we adults could be this simple.