Hiding stress can feel like the only option, but it comes with all sorts of cognitive consequences.
Just like suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away, deeply stressed people try to pretend everything’s fine to avoid dealing with their tension. They might use specific phrases to ignore the root causes of their stress, but at some point, they’ll reach an uncomfortable breaking point.
Phrases deeply stressed people say when they’re pretending everything is fine
1. ‘I just have to make it to…’
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Instead of taking the time and rest they need to honor their bodies, people pretending not to be stressed often use excuses like this. They set a deadline for themselves, saying they just have to make it through the day or survive the week.
But it’s usually at their own expense. They hustle through their stress, and in the end, actually need more time to unwind it.
2. ‘I’ve had it worse before’
We often talk about the destructive nature of social comparison with other people, but someone pretending to be okay may also compare their current state to previous struggles and trauma. They say “I’ve had it worse,” but they really only dismiss and invalidate the exhaustion they’re facing.
The kinds of people who take care of themselves and avoid burnout by prioritizing rest don’t need to stressed to do so. They listen to their bodies, instead of pretending everything is copacetic and trying to beat a level of tiredness they’d once lived through.
3. ‘What, do I look stressed?’
Many burnt out people waste more energy than they need to trying to manage how they’re being perceived. They try to look okay and change their demeanor, but they only add more stress and pressure to themselves to alter how other people see them.
That’s why Stanford experts agree that embracing stress is often the best way to deal with it. When we try to avoid or hide it, we set ourselves up for mental health crises like depression and further burnout.
4. ‘Nothing is wrong’
Keeping secrets, whether they’re someone else’s or their own, only adds to the stress people carry. If stress and burnout are what they’re choosing to hide from other people, they’re pushing themselves closer to burnout at an incredibly fast rate.
Even if they do believe that “nothing is wrong” is enough to convince people they’re taking care of themselves, there will always be signs. They’re physically tense. They’re avoiding things and people they used to enjoy. They’re self-isolating at the end of long days. Their quality of work and life is suffering.
They can pretend to hide, but those cues and red flags will still appear.
5. ‘Someone has to do it’
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Many people dealing with chronic stress also experience consistent feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. They genuinely feel like they have no choice in their own lives but to suck it up and push through it.
They might be able to put on a brave face, but most of the time, phrases like “someone has to do it” give away just how stuck they feel.
6. ‘This is just how it is’
Someone saying “this is just how it is” isn’t accepting their stress in healthy ways. They’re trying to justify unsustainable habits and dismiss the agency they have to change something in their own life. It’s easier for them to tolerate their stress when they believe they have no control over changing it.
We always have the space to change. We can create boundaries and introduce new restful habits. We can ask for help and change something. “This is just how it is” and “this is how the world works” are excuses, not facts.
7. ‘I like being busy’
Busyness is often normalized and even glamorized in our culture, but that doesn’t mean using it as a distraction is healthy. We do have healthy distractions, like spending time with friends or watching a comfort show, but when we consistently don’t address the root cause of our stress, we’re not doing ourselves any favors.
If someone regularly says “I like being busy,” but is very clearly taking on more than they can handle, it’s likely a misguided coping mechanism rather than a true passion. They need something to distract them from their inner turmoil, even when it pushes them farther from true joy and peace.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.