Quote of the day
When hurt, ask yourself: “How much and for how long?”Your mind will say: “They hurt me, they should apologise and change.”That might never happen, because they may not feel they are wrong, or they may not have the power to change.The truth is: you hurt yourself.Change your thoughts to heal yourself
What does the quote mean?
BK Shivani’s message is simple on the surface but takes a while to actually understand its depth: when someone hurts us, our instinct is to wait for an apology, for change, for some kind of justice that rebalances the scale. She’s not saying that apology or change is wrong to expect.But her advice is more impactful and profound. She explains the practicality. We don’t control whether the other person responds the way we expect. What we can control is our own mind, and that’s where the real damage is happening.
How is this relevant now?
We must understand that the original hurtful comment or action happened once, and the hurt can last a few seconds, maybe a few minutes. But how long do we carry it?Hours, days, and sometimes even years. We keep thinking about it, repeating in our brains replies and words that were never said, imagining confrontations that never happen.But Sister Shivani offers another perspective: she asks, “How much, and for how long?” asking us to notice that gap. The person who hurt us moved on long ago. We’re the ones still standing in that moment, reliving it on repeat.Some people are simply not self-aware enough to identify their own behaviour. Others might recognisze it but lack the emotional tools, the maturity, or even the willingness to do the work of changing. Waiting for that change to happen before we allow ourselves to heal means handing them the keys to our own peace of mind.