At 6 p.m. one evening, Hong Diem was stuck at a Sydney train station after a delayed connection disrupted her journey home. Her young son was still waiting at kindergarten.
A ride-hailing driver then canceled her booking, while the next bus would not arrive for another 15 minutes. Growing anxious, Diem repeatedly called the teacher to apologize and explain the delay.
“People in Australia are exceptionally punctual, and so every minute counts,” she says. “In an emergency, the teacher will wait, but I can’t let that happen often.”
Back in Ho Chi Minh City, such situations had rarely become crises. Both sets of grandparents were nearby and could help with school pick-ups or step in whenever work ran late or a child became sick.
That support disappeared after Diem and her husband moved to Australia with their first child in 2022.
Australian schools typically finish at around 3:15 p.m. Parents who cannot collect their children then must arrange after-school care, usually available until 6 p.m. If a child becomes ill during the day, a parent is expected to leave work and pick them up.
To make childcare manageable, Diem’s husband moved to a job with more flexible hours, while she switched to part-time work. After their second child was born, she stopped working altogether for nearly two years.
“Raising young children overseas is a massive challenge,” Diem says. “Simple pleasures like going to the cinema or having coffee together as a couple have virtually vanished. Everything from work routines to contingency plans for when a child gets sick has to be planned in advance.”
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Hong Diem’s family in Sydney, Australia. Photo courtesy of Diem |
The lack of family help is compounded by the high cost of childcare.
Preschool fees in Australia can start at around AUD150 (US$107.5) a day. Without government assistance through the Child Care Subsidy, full-time care five days a week can cost about AUD4,300 a month, equivalent to as much as 70% of a worker’s pre-tax income.
Government subsidies can cover up to 90% of childcare fees depending on household income, though limits apply and parents still have to pay the remaining amount.
Hiring a private nanny is even more expensive, at around AUD60 an hour, compared with Australia’s median hourly wage of AUD42.90.
As a result, many couples reduce their working hours or take turns stepping away from their jobs to care for their children.
Across the Pacific in California, 34-year-old Bich Tram faced similar pressures after giving birth to her first child in 2023.
When her two months of maternity leave ended, she and her husband struggled to find a daycare center that was both affordable and had space available.
“It is suggested that young children who lack full awareness shouldn’t be left home alone, so it was a constant strain,” Tram says. “And unlike in Vietnam, you can’t simply leave your child with a neighbor.”
After she returned to work, much of her salary went toward childcare, while mortgage payments and other living expenses continued to rise. Her husband took on two additional jobs to help cover household costs.
In 2024, the average annual cost of childcare in the U.S. was US$13,128, or about US$1,094 a month. That represented more than 10% of the median income of a married couple, above the 7% level considered affordable by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
A Pew Research Center survey found that 48% of parents with children under five had difficulty finding childcare they could afford.
To reduce expenses, Tram and her husband submitted income documents to qualify for a lower-cost public childcare program. The arrangement, however, came with strict drop-off and pick-up schedules, meaning any change in their work hours had to be planned carefully.
Prof. Min Zhou, director of the Asia Pacific Center at the University of California, Los Angeles, says immigrant parents often have to rebuild their support networks after losing the everyday help of grandparents and extended relatives.
They increasingly depend on public services, schools and community networks instead.
“While financial resources can grant access to childcare services, money cannot replace emotional support, family bonding, and the sense of belonging to a community,” she tells Read.
For Diem, adapting to life in Australia happened gradually.
During the difficult months after her second child was born, when the baby cried through the night and she struggled with low milk supply, she sought help from local parenting support services.
Within days of the birth, a local health center arranged regular checkups to monitor the baby’s development and Diem’s mental health, including signs of postpartum depression.
Social workers also visited the family at home over several years, observing how the parents interacted with their children, explaining developmental behavior and offering parenting advice.
When one of her children later became irritable and struggled at school, Diem turned to a social worker again.
The specialist explained that the behavior was a way of seeking greater connection with the parents rather than simply being stubborn. Diem then enrolled in a two-month hospital course on child psychology and emotional management.
“In Vietnam, I relied on my family,” she says. “In Australia, I rely mostly on myself, my husband, and the support of the healthcare system.”
Zhou says building strong social connections is essential for immigrant families adjusting to a new country.
Friends, neighbors, schools, community organizations and cultural groups can provide practical support, advice and companionship. They can also help children maintain ties to their heritage language and culture.
She says after-school programs, language and cultural activities, sports and mentoring networks should be expanded.
Such services not only benefit children, but also give parents more flexibility to remain in the workforce.
For immigrant families living far from relatives, these community networks can become an important substitute for the extended family support they once relied on at home.