These strategies help make your healthy habits stick, even through the weekend.
Reviewed by Dietitian Lisa Valente, M.S., RD
Key Points
- Psychologists say to focus on the next choice after a slip-up, rather than wait till Monday.
- Try a more flexible approach to eating well and working out to account for setbacks.
- Make specific goals for yourself, but have a backup plan for times when life gets busy.
You made it through the week, checking off workouts and eating the meals you prepped on Sunday. But then Thursday’s happy hour brings one too many drinks, and Friday’s last-minute pizza takeout wasn’t in the meal plan. So you write off the weekend before it even begins, swearing you’ll get back on track Monday. Then the cycle repeats itself, week after week.
If this sounds like you, you’re far from alone. A study with over 7,000 U.S. adults found that people reported taking in more calories on weekends than they do Monday through Thursday. “During the week, it’s common for most people to have a structured routine and feel more motivated to be productive, so they’re able to stick to their goals,” says Meghan Marcum, Psy.D. “The issue is that real life doesn’t operate on a Monday-to-Friday schedule, and if your approach only works when everything goes exactly as planned, it’s not going to be sustainable.” Ready to stop starting over every Monday? Here’s how, according to psychologists.
Focus on Your Next Choice, Not Next Monday
When you decide the day is already ruined, you’re not just skipping one meal or one workout; you’re writing off every meal and workout between now and Monday. Waiting until the beginning of the week to get back on track with your goals and habits lets past choices influence your future decisions too much.
“Missing one workout doesn’t dictate dinner choices, and a poor dinner selection won’t dictate how you eat for breakfast tomorrow,” says Max Doshay, Psy.D. Instead, shift your attention to the next decision you need to make, and treat each one as an opportunity to work toward your goals. “Instead of being judged by all of our choices throughout the week, now each day can be viewed as separate, and you are simply looking to return to your normal habits at the first opportunity to do so rather than having to try to catch up, punish yourself for missing something, or start over,” says Doshay.
Make Goals as Specific as Possible
If your goal is to “lose weight and eat healthier,” you may automatically be setting yourself up for failure. Vague goals, or ideas of who we want to be, can create feelings of failure the moment we do something that isn’t aligned with a perfect version of that goal.
To avoid the trap of unattainable perfection, try setting specific and attainable goals. “Instead of just generally saying I’m going to lose weight and eat healthier, choose something that you can actually implement and remind yourself to do throughout the week,” says Marcum. “This could be something small, like taking a 20-minute walk after work every day, adding a serving of vegetables to one meal, or drinking one full cup of water every morning.”
While small habits like daily walks or an extra serving of vegetables may not feel as effective as large overhauls of your diet and lifestyle, they may be easier to do consistently, becoming automatic parts of your life that you can build on in the future. A review found that most health habits take an average of two months to start feeling automatic, with individual ranges from four days to one full year. So if your small healthy actions take more than a few weeks to become habits, that’s a normal part of the process.
Switch Rigid Plans to Flexible Goals
There’s a difference between caring about how you eat and move and policing every bite and minute of fitness. Not surprisingly, the all-or-nothing approach is more likely to be abandoned as soon as an inevitable slip-up happens.
Instead of micromanaging meals, calories, nutrients and workouts each day, try a flexible plan that prioritizes nutrient-dense, planned meals and a certain number of workouts each week. You can still allow for takeout, desserts and days where movement goals won’t be met as part of an overall healthy lifestyle with a little wiggle room. “Realistic expectations allow for consistent daily habits to be built in conjunction with changing or uncertain schedules,” says Doshay.
And while it may seem counterintuitive, a relaxed exercise and diet structure can be more effective than a rigid plan. Among adults who had repeatedly tried and failed to stick with an exercise routine, researchers found all-or-nothing thinking was largely present. Participants described rigid rules about what counted—and when something disrupted the plan, most skipped it entirely instead of adjusting the plan.
If strict daily plans have backfired in the past, consider setting weekly goals that can accommodate schedule changes, like walking or jogging 30 minutes three days a week, with a backup plan in place if the weather is bad.
Create a “Minimum” Version of the Habits You Want to Stick To
If you need structure but tend to bail when the plan can’t happen exactly as written, decide in advance what the smallest acceptable version of each habit looks like.
“Create a ‘minimum’ version of each habit that you can follow on the hard days,” says Doshay. While a 45-minute workout five days a week could be the goal, it may not be possible after a day full of unexpected meetings or when you wake up with a cold, which, if you’re not prepared, could lead you to forgo exercise altogether. But if your minimum activity level for each day is a 10-minute walk, then you may still be able to fit that in.
At a lunch out with your boss, your options might be more limited than if you packed a meal from home, but you can decide that half your plate will be vegetables or that you’ll choose a lean protein for an entree. “Doing small things helps reinforce your sense of self as I am someone who does this regularly, even when motivation, time or other aspects aren’t at their best,” adds Doshay.
Other Tips for a More Sustainable Approach to Healthy Living
If you’ve been trapped in an all-or-nothing approach to your health and wellness goals, shifting your mindset and strategy to something more sustainable can take time and intentional effort. Here are four more strategies psychologists recommend for creating healthy habits you can stick to.
- Make sure it aligns with future you. Whether you’re creating new habits to hit a weight-loss or health goal, make sure it’s something you can reasonably do long-term; otherwise, the habit and results probably won’t last. “Ask yourself, Is this something I can realistically do six months from now? If the answer is no, then adjust your approach to meet your long-term goals,” says Marcum.
- Track more than the scale. If your goal is weight loss, it can be easy to gauge a good and bad day by the number on the scale. But with so many other factors like genetics, body composition, fluids, hormones and more impacting individual weight, putting too much emphasis on one number can backfire. “Be honest with yourself about how you are feeling, and measure factors like sleep, energy, mood and stress levels rather than just weight,” says Marcum.
- Don’t rely on willpower. Relying on pure motivation to work toward your goals isn’t the best strategy, as motivation is more likely to follow action than appear spontaneously. “When we take an action, no matter how simple or small it may seem, we are more likely to feel motivated to take more action,” says Hannah Jones, Psy.D. Walking the dog for 10 minutes beats waiting until you’re ready to go on a longer walk, and once you’re out and moving, it may be easier to keep going.
- Reframe your self-talk. Consistently beating yourself up over failed goals and shortcomings isn’t as motivating as you may think. Researchers found that when people know in advance that setbacks are normal, they’re more likely to stick to their plan over the following days than those not given the same permission. “After a weekend that felt out of sync with goals, a person can acknowledge what did go well, ask themselves what was hard, and encourage themselves with validation,” says Jones, adding that this method can provide insight into patterns and help set more feasible goals for the future.
Our Expert Take
A Monday restart to your goals may feel productive, but when it’s repeated week after week, it can actually sabotage your efforts to build healthy habits. Instead, psychologists recommend putting more focus on making your habits sustainable and realistic for your real, daily life. Treat each decision as its own stand-alone opportunity, set specific but flexible goals for the week, and give yourself permission to do smaller versions of your bigger goals when life gets in the way, so you can stay on track, even when life doesn’t go according to plan.