Manoj Kumar Aggarwal
Today, Reel OTT channels on mobile and increasing screen time on social media are poisoning family life. This digital step-mother has snatched away the time for conversation between members of the same family even when sitting among family members. People are sitting together, but everyone's attention is on their screen. The time to sit face to face and talk about our hearts is ending. Be it the dining table or the drawing room, everyone is alone even in the presence of everyone. While talking to someone, repeatedly looking at your phone or getting lost in it makes the other person feel neglected. This is a bitter truth. Instead of sharing emotions, laughter and sadness, people have started spending more time in the virtual world of social media. Mutual relationships are the target of mobile and social media. When talking through messages or chat, facial expressions and tone are not understood, which often leads to misunderstandings and fights.
Recently, a similar case came into limelight when a mobile phone became a digital stepchild between a senior doctor couple living under the same roof. The husband is a surgeon and the wife is a gynecologist. My husband got addicted to watching videos on YouTube two years ago. After coming home, instead of talking to his wife, he starts watching videos on his mobile. The wife became irritated by this and tried to convince her husband. The addiction did not go away.
This case of Agra is a perfect and very shocking example of this serious situation. This recent case that came to the Family Counseling Center of Agra Police proves that mobile addiction can make a person of any class or profession its victim. Let's take a look at the main points of this entire case. In this case the husband is a surgeon and the wife is a gynecologist. Both are highly educated and reputed professionals. Doctor Pati had developed a serious addiction of watching videos and reels on YouTube for the last two years. After returning home from the hospital, he used to remain lost in the mobile screen for hours instead of talking to his wife.
During counselling, the wife expressed her displeasure and helplessness and said something very sharp. She said, “It is better if the husband consumes drugs or alcohol than watching the video, at least he will talk to me on that pretext.” This statement shows to what extent digital neglect of a partner can hurt someone mentally. According to the professor and counselors of the psychology department of Agra College, the couple has been counseled twice, after which the tension and bitterness between them is gradually reducing.
Statistics of Agra Police Family Counseling Center show that 35 to 40 percent of the total cases of marital disputes coming there are due to mobile screen time and digital addiction only. Now this 'digital stepmother' is becoming a bigger reason than alcohol addiction or family interference.
When alone, looking at the mobile screen keeps changing facial expressions. This is not an isolated case, mobile is taking the place of digital step-child between husband and wife. Mobile, which reduces the distance between people living away from home and family, is creating an unseen digital wall between husband and wife living under the same roof. Giving more time to mobile at home, repeatedly checking WhatsApp and chatting is creating discord in the relationship between husband and wife. At present, more than a thousand cases have reached the Family Counseling Centre, out of which 35 to 40 percent cases were due to mobile phones. Such cases have increased in the last three years. Earlier, there were more cases of husband and wife suspecting each other of having an affair with someone else.
One study analyzed data from 40,337 US children and adolescents. It found that teens aged 14 to 17 who used screens for seven hours or more a day were more than twice as likely to have depression or anxiety as those who used screens for less than an hour. But while this study shows a connection between the two, it doesn't prove that excessive screen time is the sole cause of mental health problems. Nevertheless, the results of this data increase the need to pay attention to digital habits.
If you want to reduce your screen time, you can start with small changes. These include keeping your phone away while eating, turning off notifications during conversations with friends and family, and starting to set aside some time during the day to take a walk, exercise or learn a new hobby. Limiting mobile use before sleeping and keeping an eye on children's screen time can also be useful. Keep in mind that screen requirements for work, study and entertainment are different, so the same time limit will not be considered appropriate for everyone.
In the end, it is not necessary to give up technology completely but it is important to use it wisely.
It has been observed that staying connected to the digital world along with real relationships, physical activities and taking time for yourself can help in creating a better balance for mental and physical health. Smartphones, social media, online gaming and video streaming have become an important part of our lives. In which many activities, from studies to office work and talking to friends, are done through screens. Now technology has made life easier but its excessive use can affect mental and physical health. Given this, the question is whether we are using technology or are gradually becoming dependent on it?
If the digital world has opened up an immense storehouse of knowledge in life, then on the other hand it has affected the simplicity and inner happiness in life somewhere. Achieving and learning a lot in life becomes meaningless when one does not feel joy within, when the beauty of nature present nearby does not arouse any enthusiasm in the heart, when one does not feel happy after meeting and talking to family members present nearby, when the feelings related to the existence of life start diminishing.
To avoid this, it is very important to regulate the screen time so that relationships remain alive and sensitivity is maintained. For this, make a rule of 'no-phone zone' at home or dining table. While talking to your loved ones, keep the phone on silent or away from it. Fix some time in the day when you completely disconnect from the digital world and spend time with your family.