Lucknow: The beginning of a relationship is often beautiful. Constant conversation, trying to know each other's likes and dislikes, caring about small things and the desire to be together all the time… everything seems as if the other person has become the most important part of your world, but after some time suddenly this same person starts talking less, starts avoiding meeting and starts retreating when it comes to the future of the relationship, then it is natural that many questions arise in the mind.
Why did this happen suddenly? Did the other person's feelings change or was he not serious about the relationship from the beginning? In the changing world of dating, the term 'Puffer Fishing' is being used these days for this kind of behavior. In this, the person initially shows excessive interest and affection in the relationship, but as soon as he feels the relationship becoming serious, he starts withdrawing emotionally.
what is puffer fishing
In simple language, puffer fishing can be called the behavior in which a person appears extremely excited and attached in the initial stages of dating. He talks for hours, shares his personal secrets, messages constantly and can even show excitement about the possibilities of the future with the other person. In the beginning it seems that the relationship between the two is getting stronger rapidly, but as the closeness increases and the relationship starts moving towards commitment, the same person suddenly starts changing. Conversations slow down, responses take longer and enthusiasm is not as high as before. Many times he even starts avoiding talking about the future of the relationship. This change can create a lot of confusion for the other person, because he or she does not understand what has changed.
Why did it get the name puffer fishing?
This word is related to the protective behavior of the puffer fish found in the sea. When it senses danger, this fish fills its body with water and inflates itself. Thorns also emerge on its body, so that it can protect itself from possible danger. This behavior is seen as a metaphor in relationships, when a person feels that the relationship is becoming too close or serious, they start withdrawing to keep themselves emotionally safe. However, it is not right to consider maintaining distance every time as puffer fishing. The circumstances and mental state of the person behind this may be different.
why do people do this
There can be not just one but many reasons behind puffer fishing. Some people initially want an emotional connection, but are not ready for a serious relationship or commitment. When they feel that the other person is getting serious about the relationship, they start maintaining distance. Sometimes a bad experience from a previous relationship may be the reason behind this. Betrayal, emotional injury, or the painful end of a relationship can create a fear of being hurt again. In such a situation, he wants to get close to someone new, but as soon as the relationship starts becoming serious, the old fear starts holding him back.
how to recognize signs
-To identify this behavior, attention should be paid to continuously visible changes in the partner's behavior rather than any single incident.
-Too much involvement in the beginning can be a sign of this. The partner wants to talk constantly, share every little thing and try to spend as much time as possible with you.
-After this, as soon as the relationship becomes serious, the distance starts increasing. Her enthusiasm may wane as soon as the conversation starts about commitment, the future, or the direction of the relationship.
-Reduction in messages and conversations is also a noticeable sign, if the person who used to respond immediately earlier does not respond for hours or days and also reduces the effort to communicate, then this change should not be ignored.
-Another sign is to avoid future conversations. If he starts changing the subject again and again on questions like living together, marriage or taking the relationship forward for a long time, then it is important to understand the confusion going on in his mind.
-Sometimes distance may also appear immediately after proximity. Suddenly behaving coldly after getting emotionally or romantically close can confuse the other person a lot.
what is the solution
If you feel that your partner is behaving repeatedly by coming closer and moving away, then first of all do not jump to any conclusions. Not every distance is puffer fishing. Work stress, family responsibilities, personal problems or the impact of old relationships can also be the reason for change in someone's behavior. In such a situation, the best way is to talk openly. Explain your feelings instead of blaming. Ask the other person how he views the relationship and what are his expectations? Along with love and attraction, clarity is also important in any relationship. If one person wants to take the relationship seriously and the other is constantly avoiding it, it is important to understand the difference. A healthy relationship is one in which both can express their feelings, respect each other's boundaries and are clear about the direction of the relationship. After all, it is not necessary to call every change in a relationship a trend. What's important is that you understand your experience, value your feelings, and communicate clearly when needed. As important as closeness is in love, trust, respect and emotional security are equally important.