Lucknow: In the modern age, due to busy lifestyles, the excessive influence of social media, and practical approaches, friendships are losing their former intensity, selflessness, and depth. Friendship is one of the most beautiful and sacred relationships in human life. It is a unique bond that a person chooses outside of their family. A true friendship involves neither blood ties nor social obligations; rather, it is based entirely on mutual understanding, trust, and selfless love. History bears witness to the friendships of Krishna and Sudama and Duryodhana and Karna, setting unparalleled examples of sacrifice and dedication. Friendship is a relationship where a person can speak their mind without hesitation.
As we move into the latter half of the 21st century, the very fabric of our human relationships has changed. Today’s fast-paced life, technological advances, and materialistic thinking have shaken the foundations of this carefree and informal relationship. It’s now difficult to find the same depth, familiarity, and unconditional selflessness in friendships. Friends abound today, but the depth of friendship has been lost. People often complain that today’s friends are reduced to mere companions for good times.
Materialism and self-interest
It wouldn’t be wrong to call today’s era a utilitarian one. Material resources and personal gain are increasingly prioritized over human values. This has directly impacted our friendships. In the past, friendships were simply about being together, sharing joys and sorrows, and being a support system. Today, most people assess the other person’s social status, financial position, and influence before forming a friendship. When relationships become based on the thought of “what will I gain from this” rather than selflessness, their intensity and closeness automatically disappear.
Social media and the illusion of the world
Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and other digital platforms have connected us to people across the world, but they have also distanced us from our true friends. Today, we have hundreds of followers and friends, but in times of crisis, there’s not a single shoulder to cry on. Friendships on social media have become measured by merely liking photos, sending formal birthday messages, or simply sharing Reels. This virtual world has made friendships extremely superficial, where pretense prevails and genuine feelings are negligible.
Busy lifestyle and lack of time
Modern life has become highly competitive and stressful. Everyone is so engrossed in careers, earning money, and personal priorities that they have little time even for their loved ones. Previously, friends would arrive at each other’s homes without prior notice, sitting and talking for hours, sharing joys and sorrows. Today, even meeting a friend requires an appointment or planning several days in advance. This lack of time is gradually eroding the warmth of relationships.
Lack of communication and excessive screen time
Whenever two friends meet, they’re often seen staring at their mobile phone screens instead of talking to each other. Even when sitting together, they seem distant. This is known as “phubbing” in technical terms. Because of the inability to openly discuss things face-to-face, innermost thoughts remain within. This lack of communication, or limited to chatting, weakens mutual understanding and emotional connection.
Heavy expectations and lack of tolerance
The selflessness that once formed the backbone of this relationship is now confined to stories in books and old movies. In today’s world, people’s patience and tolerance have plummeted. We have high expectations of our friends, and when those expectations aren’t met, we immediately decide to end the relationship or distance ourselves. Friendships in the past were characterized by forgiving, understanding, and mutually resolving grievances. Today, people block or stop communicating even over minor disagreements, leading to the breakdown of relationships.
Feelings of competition and jealousy
Today, every segment of society is engaged in a blind race. Sadly, this race has now begun even among friends. When healthy competition between two friends is replaced by jealousy and inferiority complex, the relationship loses its intensity. Instead of rejoicing wholeheartedly at one friend’s success, the other begins to regret being left behind. This comparative approach has completely polluted the natural and innocent atmosphere of friendship.
Sensory and emotional distance
In earlier times, friends were completely devoted to each other, both mentally and emotionally. If one friend was in trouble, the other would rush to their aid, regardless of their own. Today, people shy away from getting involved in others’ problems. Everyone puts their own peace of mind and comfort first. Due to this overly practical mindset, the sense of security and trust that once existed in friendship has vanished. People now seek a “no-drama” life, distancing themselves from their friends’ deep sorrows.
Nuclear families and changing social structures
The breakdown of joint families and the rise of nuclear families have also led to a change in human nature. People today have become more self-centered. From childhood, children are taught to focus solely on their studies, careers, and progress. This social change has made individuals increasingly isolated and selfish. When a person begins to think only within the confines of themselves and their limited family, they fail to fully appreciate a broad and generous relationship like friendship.
Meetings limited to celebrations and selfishness only
Nowadays, gatherings are limited to special occasions like birthdays, New Year’s parties, weddings, or club gatherings. The primary purpose of these gatherings is to dance to loud music, consume alcohol, or take beautiful photos to post on social media. Heart-to-heart conversations are impossible at such gatherings. Meetings have become merely a source of entertainment, not spiritual fulfillment.
Lack of trust and fear of privacy
The most important rule of true friendship is confidentiality, that my words are safe with my friend. However, in today’s times, people’s trust in each other has diminished. It’s often seen that when there’s a disagreement, friends themselves reveal each other’s secrets or slander each other on social media. Due to this fear, people no longer speak openly even with their friends, keeping their deepest secrets hidden. Where there’s no complete trust, intimacy can never blossom.