‘Girls have to adapt a little’, ‘Girls should think about others in the family before thinking about themselves’ – many women have to grow up hearing such words from a young age. And such words have a direct impact on their mentality. Not only in the past, but in many homes today, daughters have to hear such restrictions, which young boys may not have to hear much. But this habit of over-adapting puts the girl at risk for life (Women Raised to ‘Adjust’ Develop Coping Patterns).
1. Suppressing your feelings and needs
According to research by psychologist Dana Crowley Jack, such women feel hesitant to express their opinions, needs, or anger in order to maintain the relationship. This tendency is called ‘self-silencing’. In the long run, it lowers self-esteem and pushes the person towards depression.
2. Many women who always take on other people’s responsibilities
learn to shoulder family responsibilities from a young age. In psychology, this is called ‘parentification’. That is, the role of the family’s guardian becomes theirs. As a result, even after growing up, they take responsibility for the problems of their partners, family or friends on themselves. Studies have shown that this tendency can cause excessive mental stress and burnout. These people get tired easily. They lose the desire to be well.
3. Trying to be perfect to win everyone’s hearts.
Those who are constantly pressured to meet other people’s expectations as children, consider even small mistakes as their own failures, which increases anxiety and self-criticism. They withdraw into an invisible shell.
4. Relying on the recognition of others for your own worth
If your self-esteem or confidence depends entirely on the praise or acceptance of others, it is risky for your mental health. Those whose self-esteem is dependent on the opinions of others feel criticism or rejection intensely and are constantly immersed in anxiety.
Being empathetic towards others is definitely a positive quality. However, it is important to give equal importance to one’s own feelings, needs and boundaries. Therefore, teach your daughter to be empathetic, but not at the expense of mental peace and health. Gradually, she needs to develop the habit of giving importance to her own needs as well. May the path to loving others be paved by learning to love herself.